


The Misdirection of Ashley Humagne - BLAINE DEBEERS

by quietdreams



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Zombies, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-03-02 19:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18817747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietdreams/pseuds/quietdreams
Summary: When a young woman gets caught in the clutches of a crime boss, things get messy.ORAshley Humagne was known for her giving nature, but hen certain events unfold, leaving the kind young woman in the arms of a certain undead man, stories begin unravelling, and things aren't what they seem.[begun - May 10, 2019][completed -  ]





	1. disclaimer & info

_I **do not** own iZombie, or any of the characters associated with the iZombie Franchise. I do, however, own  **Ashley Humagne** , and all of the events that take place surrounding her that did not occur in the TV show._

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* _  
_

Now then, a little information about my book.

This book is based around, maybe, late season two, through seasons three and four, and hopefully isn't absolute garbage. Don't expect me to be following every episode, however, because I plan to loosely follow the series.

_Also_

I have a very demented mind, and therefore, some scenes in this are sure to be what some may call  _disturbing._

Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this.


	2. cast

_Ariana Grande_ as  **Ashley Humagne**

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_David_   _Anders_ as  **Blaine DeBeers**

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_Bryce Hodgson_ as  **Donald "Don E." Eberhard**

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_Jason Dohring_ as  **Chase Graves**

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_Robert Buckley_ as  **Major Lilywhite**

_Rose McIver_ as  **Olivia "Liv" Moore**

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_Rahul Kohli_ as  **Ravi Chakrabarti**

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**.•*•.**

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	3. P A R T  O N E

❝  _are you a bad person ?_ ❞

❝  **depends on who you ask** ❞


	4. uno

Stepping into the popular brain bar of Seattle, The Scratching Post, Ashley Humagne was surprised to see how empty it was. Glancing at the few people sitting around the room, she made her way to the bar and took a seat, watching as a bald man stopped wiping down the counter to walk over and take her order.

"Hey there, what can I get ya?" The man asked, lazily raising his eyebrows.

Tilting her head slightly, Ashley gave the man a dazzling smile.

"What would you recommend to me?"

"Well, our special choreographer brain is almost sold out, so if you want something good and fun, that's a good one, otherwise we have a good chunk of an ol' romantic blue brain available, for a price, of course," The man explained, watching the brunette toss a lock of her long hair over her shoulder.

"Ol' romantic sounds good, but what's a blue brain?" Ashley asked, tilting her head once more, curiosity shining in her dark eyes.

"Ohoho, you're a blue brain virgin? It's pretty frickin'  _sweet!_ " The man announced with a goofy laugh, making the woman before him giggle in slight confusion.

"Yeah, I guess I am! It's my first time here, so I'm kind of nervous! I've never been off of the brain tubes Fillmore-Graves distributes, but I've heard the real deal is  _amazing_."

"Well, if a lovely young woman like yourself would like, I'm sure we can arrange something on the house for you to try," a new male voice said from behind her.

Turning around, Ashley was met with a blond man with blue eyes staring at her, a small smirk on his lips.

"Oh, thank you very much! I don't want to not pay for the service you provide, though," She stated, offering the man a small smile in return.

"Please, think nothing of it. A taste of something wonderful for one of our new customers is the least I can do," the man said, then gave a small gasp and raised his hand to her. "I'm Blaine DeBeers, owner of this bar."

"Oh, wow, it's so nice to meet you! I'm Ashley Humagne–" she began, only to be cut off by Blaine.

"That's a bit of an–" Blaine started, Ashley cutting  _him_  off this time.

"Ironic last name? I know, right!"

The two shared a smile and a small chuckle before the man behind the bar returned –not that Ashley nor Blaine had noticed him leave– with a tray. On it was a plate containing a slice of a blue brain, three melon ballers, and three shot glasses.

"I come bearing gifts!" The bald man joked, laughing.

"Of course, Don E., this is Ashley, Ashley, this is Don E.. He runs The Scratching Post, while I'm working on something a bit...  _more_ ," Blaine introduced the two, moving to lean against the bar next to the young woman.

Nodding her head, Ashley watched as Don E. put the tray down before picking up the shot glasses and set the small cups in front of each of them.

"Alright, let's get a chaser ready before we dig in!" She announced, beaming excitedly.

Chuckling, Don E. turned around and grabbed what looked like a bottle of tequila, then filled the three shot glasses.

Once the booze was ready, the three zombies picked up their melon ballers, Blaine and Don E. going at it first, scooping their portion out of the slice of blue brain. Glancing at Ashley, Blaine noticed her hesitance and chuckled, switching out her melon baller for his own, digging into the brain once more to get another portion.

"Oh, thank you," Ashley smiled, then three of them clinking shot glasses before eating the brain, which earned an appreciative moan from the young woman.

Looking over at her, Blaine raised his eyebrows while Don E. gave a big smile, nodding in understanding.

"That's good shit, ain't it?" Don E. asked, grinning.

Nodding quickly, Ashley swallowed the brain chunk, picked up her shot glass, and quickly downed the shot, slamming the glass down on the counter as the fiery liquid slid down her throat.

Coughing, Ashley placed a hand on her chest as Blaine and Don E. chuckled, the blond man patting her on the back as she struggled with the burning in her throat for a moment.

"Woah there, Skippy, take it easy," Blaine suggested, straightening up after taking his own shot.

After a few seconds, the burning sensation turned into a warm tingle at the back of her throat, and Ashley turned to the blond man with a small grimace.

"That was disgusting!" She announced, earning raised eyebrows from Blaine and a mouth drop from Don E. "Oh! No, no! The shot, not the brain! The brain was...  _incredible,_ " the young woman practically moaned at the lingering taste of it in her mouth.

A smirk from the blond and a cocky nod from the bald were her responses.

Minutes later, the three of them were talking about all sorts of different things –it wasn't like there were many customers around at that time– when the blue brain kicked in.

"So, how long have you been a zombie?" Blaine asked, sitting on a barstool, leaning against the bar while looking at the young woman.

"Oh, I'm not sure, actually. A year or two, I think! It could have been longer, though," she thought for a moment, tapping a finger against her lip thoughtfully.

"What, you don't remember the turn? How it happened?" Don E. asked, leaning forward over the bar curiously.

Glancing away from their curious stares, Ashley turned her attention to the empty shot glass in front of her, running her fingertip along the edge for a moment before taking a deep breath.

"No, not really. I don't remember much at all before I was turned. I'm not sure why, everyone else I've talked to pretty much remembers everything. But, when I woke up, in this life, it was dark. I was  _so_  hungry, and it was  _so_  dark," the brunette stated, clenching her jaw at the memory.

Frowning, Blaine reached over and rubbed the woman's back gently in a circle.

"Hey, it's gonna be alright," Blaine comforted, giving the young woman a small smile.

Nodding briefly, Ashley cleared her through and sat up, quickly patting her cheeks and forcing a big smile to her face.

"You're right! It's all going to be fine!"

Watching the young woman, Blaine felt a warmth in his chest, unlike anything he'd ever really felt before. Reaching forward, the man brushed his fingertips over her temple, a smile coming to his lips.

"Yeah. And, ya know, if you ever need someone to talk to, or you just want to go somewhere, you can give me a call," he stated, pulling out his phone.

"I was just going to say the same to you!" The brunette exclaimed, the bright spark back in her eye as she turned and looked at him.

"Oh my  _God_ , you two!" Don E. called out from behind the bar, staring down at his cell phone.

Quickly turning their attention to the bald zombie, the two at the bar asked what was going on, only to get a response was a shrill scream and Don E.'s phone being slammed on the counter.

" _I HAVE THREE LESS FOLLOWERS THAN I DID YESTERDAY, WHAT THE FUCK!?_ "

Both Ashley and Blaine gasped, rushing= to lean forward and look at the phone.

"How is that even possible?!" Don E. questioned. "I'll fucking find the people that unfollowed me, I  _swear_ I will!"

"And you should, that's so fucked up!" Blaine agreed.

It was then that Blaine and Ashley both realized something, looking at each other with wide eyes.

Fifteen minutes later, they found some information about the blue brain the three of them had consumed that had been hidden from The Scratching Post pre-purchase.  Apparently the brain was that of a twenty-three year old woman by the name of Lauren Balvin, a known social media-obsessed young woman, who, incidentally, had a restraining against her from a young man who claimed she was way too clingy, believed that they were meant to be together, and that nothing could ever tear them apart, even the law.

After discovering this information, Don E. was the first to pull a chunk out of fresh brain and clear his mind of the crazy woman.

Blaine and Ashley were sharing glances and hesitated. Don E. noticed, but didn't say anything, playing his role as the oblivious zombie, and told the two of them he was going to go back to tending the bar.

Once alone in Blaine's office, the two practically lunged forward and met in a tangle of limbs, their mouths meeting in a passionate exchange, fingers roaming through each other's hair.

For the moment, feeling emotions they never had before due to the brain, they were in love.

Out at the bar, Don E. picked up the shot glasses and moved them to be cleaned, then picked up the plate that had the blue brain on it and went to throw it out before pausing. Glancing down at the brain, then back towards the office he had just left, Don E. instead saved the slice of brain, a small laugh leaving him as he shook his head. They would be wanting more if they were getting up to what he thought they were back there.

 


End file.
